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“Her 90th birthday” or “dinner for one”
by Freddie Frinton
scripted by Peter Kaul
Actors: Freddie Frinton and May Warden.
INT. - MISS SOPHIES DINING ROOM - LATE EVENING
James the butler is already present and preparing the table. During walking around he stumbels over a tiger skin with a head which is laying between the table an the buffet. The buffet is on the left side, with several meals and bottles. James uses the GONG. Miss Sophie is coming down the staircaise in the big hall.
- Good evening, Miss Sophie, good evening.
- Good evening, James.
- You are looking very weIl this evening, Miss Sophie.
- Well, I am feeling very much better, thank you, James.
- She is taking place at the small side of the table to the right side at the opposite side to the buffet. James helps her polite to sit down and held her chair.
- Miss Sophie looks around and seemes contend.
- Well, I must say that everything looks very nice.
- James is walking a bow around the tigerskin.
- Thank you very much, Miss Sophie, thank you.
- Is everybody here?
- She is looking around to her anticipated friends.
- Indeed, they are, yeah, yes. They all are here for your anniversary, Miss Sophie.
- All five places are laid out?
- All laid out as usual Miss Sophie.
- Sir Toby?
- JAMES points at the place to the left of MISS SOPHIE
- Sir Toby, yes, he's sitting here this year, Miss Sophie
- Admiral von Schneider?
- JAMES points at let place to Sir Toby
- Admiral von Schneider is sitting here, Miss Sophie
- Mr. Pommeroy?
- JAMES points to the opposite site of Admiral von Schneider
- Mr Pommeroy, I put round here for you
- And my very dear friend, Mr. Winterbottom?
- JAMES points to the place at the right side of MISS SOPHIE to the opposite side of Sir Toby
- On your right, as you requested, Miss Sophie.
- Thank you, James You may now serve the soup
- The soup, thank you very much, Miss Sophie, thank you.
- He walks around the tabel und stumbels over the tiger head
- They are all waiting for you little drop of Mulligatawny soup, Miss Sophie
- I am particulary fond of Mulligatawny soup, James
- Yes, I know you are.
- I think we'll have sherry now, with the soup James
- Sherry with the soup, yes.... Oh, by the way, the same procedure as last year Miss Sophie?
- Same procedure as every year, James.
- Same procedure as every year, James
- He walks to the buffet and stumbles over the tigerskin.
- Is that a dry sherry, James?
- Yes, a very dry sherry, Miss Sophie. A very dry straight out of the cellar, this morning, Miss Sophie
- He takes a bottle and walks round the tabel to Sir Tobie´s place and fills his glas. He talks to the imagine Sir Toby, returns and filsl more sherry in the glas.
- JAMES is imitating the high voice of Miss Sophies anticipated friends
- Cheerio, Miss Sophie!
- Admiral von Schneider!
- And Must I say it this year, Miss Sophie?
- Just to please me, James.
- Just to please you, very good, yes, yes!
- James takes the glass and clicks his heels
- JAMES talks in high voice very fast.
- Happy new year, Sophie!
- And dear Mr. Winterbottom!
- Well, here we are again, old lovely...
- You may now serve the fish
- MISS SOPHIE finishes eating the soup
- Fish, very good, Miss Sophie. Did you enjoy the soup?
- Delicious, James.
- Thank you, Miss Sophie, glad you enjoyed it...
- JAMES clears the table and takes the soupplates back to the buffet and stumbles over the tiger skin.
- A little bit of North Sea haddock, Miss Sophie.
- I think we'll have white wine with the fish.
- White wine with the fish. The same procedure as last year, Miss Sophie?
- JAMES stubles over the tiger head. He takes a bottle of white wine and fills the glases, beginning with MISS SOPHIE.
- The same procedure as every year, James!
- Yeah!
- Sir Toby!
- JAMES talks in a high voice.
- Cheerio, Sophie, me gal
- Admiral von Schneider!
- Oh, must I, Miss Sophie?
- James, please, please!
- JAMES talks in high voice very fast.
- Happy new year, Sophie me gal.
- Mr. Winterbottom!
- JAMES talks with heavy tonque
- ...you look younger than ever, love! Younger than ever! He, he, he!
- On the way to the buffet JAMES
- Please, serve the chicken!
- Yea!
- That looks a very fine bird?!
- That's a lovely chu... chuk ...chicken, that I`ll tell you a lovely...
- l think, we'll have champagne with the bird!
- Champagne, ya Sssame, same proce- dure as last year, Miss Sophie?
- Same procedure as every year, James!!! -Sir Toby!
- Sophie me gal
- Admiral von Schneider!
- Must l Miss Sophie?
- James!
- Ssskoll!
- Mr Pommeroy!
- Happy new year, Sophie gal Miss
- Mr. Winterbottom!
- It's one of the nicest little women.. (hick )...one of the nicest little women, that's ever breathed, ever breathed I now declare this bazar opened! Would you like
- Some fruit?
- I think we'll have port with the fruit!
- Oh, noo! Same procedure as last
- Yes, same procedure as every year, James!
- !!!
- Sir Toby!
- JAMES drinks out of the winebottle, when he walks back to the buffet. He rounds the table and beginns with the imagine Sir Toby.
- Sugar in the morning, sugar
- Admiral von Schneider!
- Ssskolll!
- JAMES tries to kick his heels but he miss. Almost he lose his stand and tries to find his balance back.
- Mr. Pommeroy!
- I'm sorry, madam, sorry
- Mr. Winterbottom!
- JAMES knocks at his breast and grimaces his face
- Huuuh, I’ll kill that cat!
- WeIl, James, it's been really a wonderfull party!
- WeIl, it's been most enjoyable
- I think, I'll retire
- You're going to bed?
- Yes !
- JAMES runs around the table to help MISS SOPHIE
- Sit down, I'll give you a hand up, Madam.
- As I was saying, I think, I'll retire
- Ya Ya. .... by the way, the same procedure as last year, Miss Sophie?
- The same procedure as every year, James!
- JAMES closes one eye and smiles
- Well, I'll do my very best!
THE END
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